I've been feeling really down for the past few days that no matter how much I entertain myself I always end up sad at the end of the day. I really need a little sunshine to brighten up my day to bring me back to my mood. Now, I found myself writing a post about Paulo and I can't hide the smile on my face. I guess he's what they call "my happy pill".



Being in a relationship with Paulo for 7 months has taught me a lot of things about love and life. I thought I am already satisfied with going out alone, doing chores alone, going online and appreciating those couples posting pictures on social media, going on school-bahay route every day, not minding if someone will text me or not the whole day- basically being happily contented with my life, with the company of my family and my friends until I realized that, I was completely wrong when I met Paulo. I realized that I can be happier and at the same time feel incomplete. There's something more exciting to look forward to when I met my long term text mate a year ago. It still feels surreal on how things started between the two of us- those "katorpehan" turned funny conversations and the creepy stalkings that turned into gestures of efforts. I'm not really into him but the more I get to know Paulo, the more I became afraid of the fact that I'm falling for him already. It's not that I don't like commitments but I'm not ready to have a boyfriend. I'm afraid to be left out again just like what the most important guy I once loved did. But honestly this shy and silent guy made me realize a lot of things in life. He embraced my fearful heart and slowly freed it from what ifs and whys. He made me realize that someone can love me for being me. I know I'm not easy to love. I'm an over thinker and I'm always afraid of taking risks. At some point, I'm also a perfectionist and I have my whole life figured out. My days are planned ahead and I have due dates for myself. Little did I know that the guy right there in front of me who's asking permission to, just at least, be part of my schedule for a little while will turn out to be the biggest plot twist of my life. 


The idea of him makes me smile. The simple essence of him astonishes me. I didn't know that he will give my life more color and something to look forward to every single day. These things and mixed emotions that I am feeling, these are something I've never felt before until I met Paulo. He's one of the toughest and softest guy I know. I've seen him in his worst and it made me appreciate him more after all his struggles. I realized how lucky I am to be loved by a man who makes me feel how much he loves me every single day. I feel so blessed to have met him and I feel myself falling deeper than the last. 


"Thank you for being my sunshine. You never know how much happiness you've brought in to my life."  :)

xoxo,


Today marked the last day of the semester. Well, it is supposedly the last day of being stress free BUT we still have a hanging research defense on June and summer clinic on the entire month of June. A lot of things are running through my mind right now. I'm suffering from mixed emotions. I'm happy because it ended already but I'm afraid because I'm not satisfied with the last exam that I took. I studied and prepared for the exam but I felt pressured during the last minute before the exam to the point that even the easiest questions took me so long to answer. (I don't actually know if I answered it correctly.) I'm currently sitting in front of my laptop while having so many thoughts running through my head. I have so many what ifs and whys and I'm becoming a little emotional tonight. I'm suffering from stress since last week because of some school problems and mainly, family problems. I'm really trying my best to face those bravely and cope up with it and I'm happy that my family and friends continue to show their love and support even in my stressful days. (I'm sure they don't even know that I'm stressed already because I'm not the obvious one who talks about my problems.) I think I just need someone to talk to, or do something "new" to keep me away from the things that bothers and stresses me. I'm not really this type of person and wouldn't thought that I would write something like this here but I think there are really days wherein I will feel like I just want to disappear and just go back when everything is fine- just like today. I'm currently drowning in my own thoughts but I'll be overcoming this. Maybe not at this moment, but I will. :)
Sharing with you these pictures taken 2 weeks ago in Stilts in Calatagan, Batangas. I really hope to be back to my happy and relaxed state, be able to release all those heartaches and find peace of mind. :)

xoxo,

Hey guys!!! A new set of wish list is finally up! I've been going on trips the past few weeks and have scheduled more trips on the coming weeks. I'm looking for cute summer outfits online and landed on  Shein site. I already placed cute items on my cart and here are some of the other clothes left in my wish list. You can check out Shein's site for more cute summer outfits! :)  
** Click on the numbers and it'll direct you to the item's link :)
Cami Tops
1 // 2
Two piece outfit
1 // 2
Swimwear
1 // 2
Denim Shorts
1 // 2 
xoxo,

One thing that I am looking forward to see when I went to Eco hotel is their iconic swimming pool. I've seen a lot of beautiful pictures of it from the internet and I can say that it's more beautiful in person. Having the perfect place and perfect timing, I decided to wear my new one piece from Shein. I didn't know that the back view of this swimwear is going to be deep bare. I don't wear something like this but because the timing is perfect (we have the place all by ourselves) I decided to wear it.

Outfit. Prior to this trip I decided to order a one piece swimwear in Shein. This piece caught my attention because of it's pretty simple design- black and floral detail. The real purpose of getting a black one piece is to hide my belly fats but it turned out that it was a wrong decision because I got a deep bare back swimwear that showed off my back and side fats. HAHA! Anyway, confidence kept me going. I realized how afraid I was before in wearing swim wears when I'm still sexy and how confident I am in wearing it now that I'm 6 kilos heavier. Hahaha! Very opposite! Anyway, it's all on how you carry yourself confidently. Thank you Shein for this really cute one piece. You can avail yours too by clicking this

xoxo,