My sunshine

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I've been feeling really down for the past few days that no matter how much I entertain myself I always end up sad at the end of the day. I really need a little sunshine to brighten up my day to bring me back to my mood. Now, I found myself writing a post about Paulo and I can't hide the smile on my face. I guess he's what they call "my happy pill".



Being in a relationship with Paulo for 7 months has taught me a lot of things about love and life. I thought I am already satisfied with going out alone, doing chores alone, going online and appreciating those couples posting pictures on social media, going on school-bahay route every day, not minding if someone will text me or not the whole day- basically being happily contented with my life, with the company of my family and my friends until I realized that, I was completely wrong when I met Paulo. I realized that I can be happier and at the same time feel incomplete. There's something more exciting to look forward to when I met my long term text mate a year ago. It still feels surreal on how things started between the two of us- those "katorpehan" turned funny conversations and the creepy stalkings that turned into gestures of efforts. I'm not really into him but the more I get to know Paulo, the more I became afraid of the fact that I'm falling for him already. It's not that I don't like commitments but I'm not ready to have a boyfriend. I'm afraid to be left out again just like what the most important guy I once loved did. But honestly this shy and silent guy made me realize a lot of things in life. He embraced my fearful heart and slowly freed it from what ifs and whys. He made me realize that someone can love me for being me. I know I'm not easy to love. I'm an over thinker and I'm always afraid of taking risks. At some point, I'm also a perfectionist and I have my whole life figured out. My days are planned ahead and I have due dates for myself. Little did I know that the guy right there in front of me who's asking permission to, just at least, be part of my schedule for a little while will turn out to be the biggest plot twist of my life. 


The idea of him makes me smile. The simple essence of him astonishes me. I didn't know that he will give my life more color and something to look forward to every single day. These things and mixed emotions that I am feeling, these are something I've never felt before until I met Paulo. He's one of the toughest and softest guy I know. I've seen him in his worst and it made me appreciate him more after all his struggles. I realized how lucky I am to be loved by a man who makes me feel how much he loves me every single day. I feel so blessed to have met him and I feel myself falling deeper than the last. 


"Thank you for being my sunshine. You never know how much happiness you've brought in to my life."  :)

xoxo,




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2 comments:

  1. such a sweet post! He seems like a great guy.

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  2. Beautiful post as always!!

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