I've been keeping these photos for quite sometime now and I decided to put a draft on it last night, write everything I want and it led me to post something personal here. I'm quite emotional when I'm writing this because I feel like I'm at my lowest and weakest and I don't know how I'm going to overcome this quarter life crisis I am currently experiencing. But, thanks to him for finding the time to listen, understand and still motivate me when I feel like taking a break. I'm not expressive in social media about our relationship nor posts words of endearment but here's to one of the most personal letter to date that I will be sharing here on my blog. Here it goes...

As a growing, struggling and trying to be independent woman I have my life all figured out even before you came- put it in a timeline and promised myself to achieve everything that my heart desires. All I've wanted is to be of service to my family & give them everything that they deserve, help my mom build her dream house and practice my career abroad. When you came in picture 3 years ago, my plans went a little messed up, my timeline adjusted and my perspective in life changed. I'm not only thinking about 3 persons in my life now but 4. A lot of people told me before that when you enter in a relationship, you should be ready to get hurt, to cry, to fail and to be selfless. Well, it is true and I've experienced all of it. But, love made me experienced the best feelings that words can't even explain and I'm happy that it's with you who's by my side. I found a partner, a mentor and a bestfriend in you who give me everyday an assurance that I am capable, I am loved and I am someone to be proud of. 

First, I want to say "Thank You!" Thank you for the love, care and help that you have showered me. You have this way of making me feel so special that I can't also explain. You always annoy me but you also make me the happiest like a clueless kid. You always put a pressure on me whenever I feel down but I know that it's your way of motivating me. I hate it most of the time but I know that you believe what I am capable of and you don't want it to go to waste. Thank you for always believing in me and praying for me. I know it's hard to love a sick woman because it makes you worry most of the time. But thank you- thank you for enduring the pain with me and being my ray of sunshine. 

Sorry, sorry for being too loud, too annoying and too anxious. You know I have reasons behind it but still thank you for understanding. Sorry for being a scaredy cat at times when I'm afraid of things which doesn't happen yet (overthinker). Know that I am also tired of this attitude of mine but I'm really trying to let go each one at a time. Sorry for being a nagger at times. I know you hate it so much but there's always a reason behind all the nagging and rants. Sorry if I'm eating up all your patience and the least thing that I can do is to cry when you're mad. Sorry if I just look tough but a real cry baby inside. 

I love you Pau. Words can't explain how much I'm thankful for your presence. You, alone, gives me comfort and serenity. In this messed up world of mine, it is in you where I find peace and warmth. I always pray for your safety and health that you may always be guided wherever you go. I will always keep in mind your promises and someday, I wish to tick off our goals together as a couple and family. I am always rooting for you and your success, for your dreams to come true and know that through all your ups and downs I will always be by your side no matter what. Take care always and please don't forget that there's always me waiting and praying for you. 

xoxo,